My V,
A brilliant brazilian author said once in a passage in her book:
“I don’t even remember what our beginning was. I know we didn’t start at the beginning. It was already love before it ever were.”
Clarice Lispector
I never completely understood the meaning of this sentence until you came along. We were just two strangers looking for something that we didn’t even know what, and we probably still don’t. We are fire and ice combined in an uncoordinated dance of words and words and more words. We were strangers-that-would-share-everything-who-turned-into-friends-who-turned-best-friends-who-were-with-other-people-who-weren’t-anymore-who-turned-into-something-else-that-lead-to-smartflirting and after months of “fear”-play, surrendered and became plain, honest, loyal, tender love.
I knew from the start that you and I would end up together, even during the process of necessary falling out of love with you, even when you were reasoning in your mind all the reasons why we shouldn’t be together and the only one why we ought to. Even with all the ice, I knew that melting your cold heart was just a matter of time because despite our apparent “lack of compatibility” according to Jungian psychology, never two people were more in sync about everything than us.
Without any reasonable explanation, you learned how to love me. You took your time and you figured me out completely, body and soul. What seemed rocket science for others became math for dumbies to you. You learned what each of my head tilts and eye smirks meant. You learned by my voice when I’m upset and with a word from me you get the sign that you need to be more patient and more open to deal with my smart-assy jokes, my obsessive curious and crazy ways, my quirks and mood swings, my happy sweet phases which I believe, were quite a challenge for you.
There are so many things that I want to say and I can’t put in words. There isn’t a term, in any of the languages that I know, special enough to do you justice. You, sweetheart, are my solid ground. You are a breath of fresh air. You are my wonderwall. And every day, as I wake up and I go to sleep, I thank a force bigger than me (that you don’t believe in) for such a divine providence in crossing our paths like it did, in this sweet sweet serendipity.
And I want to thank you for this leap of faith. This is faith, believing in us is faith. Taking the risk, opening up, getting involved, falling in love is faith. The roads will be wilding from now on, but I want to say – in a raw honesty – that I’ll be there to pick you up, to hold your hand along the way and say to you that it’s worth it. You are worth it. I have touched grace. I went to heaven and returned. And when I arrived, came here upon this place and discovered that now – right now – God actually is you.
And me.
Together.
and most unique collection of best cells there are.
